Hello and East Fishkill: A Brief Synopisis

East Fishkill, whose tagline, seems rather in keeping with the motif of "Blue Velvet's" Lumbverville, "A Great Place to Live" was founded in 1849. Voted the 31st greatest place to live in the US  2005 by MONEY Magazine based on its incredibly low crime rate juxtaposed against an incredibly high rate of economic affluence. Also, possessing the ethnic demography of your average Klan rally probably didn't hurt their ranking. Located close enough to NYC so as to enable wonderful day trips and the local junkies not to have to resort to meth, East Fishkill is a bustling community which falls in a unique area of suburban classification. To some it is a suburb or NYC, for others it is seen as a town which first suckled at the teat of the railroad, then the local farms, then IBM which then left the town high and dry in the 90s. It really depends on where you come from how you define East Fishkill. For people from Manhattan, anything from the Bronx to Niagara is considered to be upstate and most likely a suburb, while I'm sure the people in Niagara complain about some type of sub human mole people as their hicks. As you ascend the Hudson Valley, at each stop of the Metro North those who exit the train construe their stop as the last bastion of metropolitan culture and grace while anyone above it might as well be considered extras in "Deliverance". In this writer's opinion, anyone who is blessed enough to be subject to the whims of the bloated and inefficient bureaucracy otherwise known as the MTA should be considered part of lower New York state. We at least earn that much for paying the same exorbitant tax rates as those "true" lower New Yorkers, though some may tend to disagree. While there is undoubtedly a commuter culture present in this region, as anyone who has had to contend with the wheeled suit case wielding overly entitled business men who race to the train every morning, one can say that this region has enough of its own cultural identity to be considered a separate region. Unlike all those posers in Westchester.
 Too many Chinese restaurants and pizza places, Flat Rock and woods parties, those kids who were obviously buying heroine at the old deli across from John Jay, cops who literally have nothing better to do than purposely try and pull over kids and then freak out when they pull a car over full to the brim with heroine, Victor the police dog playing catch with Officer Bellino outside of the DD, where every person who this writer would not wish to associate with seems to hang out, the blatant misappropriation of funds by the Town and the sometimes rather seedy practices of the leadership, the cool fall nights of Community Day and playing wiffleball every summer at the Rec from when I was 8 until 21, all of these things and more are what this Town mean to me and I love it. But that does not mean that this town and the surrounding area are not ripe for satire and parody as well as thoughtful criticisms.
Here are some of the topics this writer wishes to bring you in the future: "An Average East Fishkill Traffic Stop; A Play in Three Acts," "A Look at the Rather Grisly History of East Fishkill and the Even More Atrocious Self Generated Literature Produced by the Town", "A Look at the Town and its Departments which will tackle such hard hitting questions as whether Denis Miller is a cross dresser and more importantly who the hell is Denis Miller.""Traffic Patterns and Road Issues, such as why the Hell Can No One Master the Concept of the Middle Lane in Hopewell."